Forgot Password?

REGISTER TO BECOME A MODEL

For Fake's Sake

Acrylic nails have slowly become somewhat of an irritation in my life. Purely because, when it comes to the fake talons; the grass is always greener. When I’m sporting my chewed ‘au natural’ nails I glare enviously at other’s consistently immaculate manicures, and yet when I have a full set of acrylics I yearn to have the fucking things off.

Yes, they look fabulous, and unlike hair extensions it appears to have become acceptable when they look evidently ‘not real’. And yessss, I feel more feminine when tapping my white tips on the desk rather than the stumps that I have been blessed with. However, from experience, there are more down sides to these beauties than the benefits. Namely - the cost. 30 quid every time a new set is applied. What a joke. This is of course not mentioning the £15 charge just for in-fills as well as a charge to have them soaked off! Some would say they are worth the monthly investment (that’s right, they need in-filling every 3 – 4 weeks); I however, would rather spare cash in my Prada purse.

Practicality is also a major issue. I wouldn’t say I’m heavy handed, but I always seem to lift/snap/lose a nail, which, by the way, hurts more than a bikini wax. That is SERIOUS pain, for those poor souls yet to experience a decent b-line waxage. After this you're left with one broken sore nail that makes the whole set look trashy, and thus you have to book an emergency appointment to rectify the damage you caused by simply typing too hard on the keyboard, or getting it caught in the sleeve of a coat…lame.

So, here are my few fake nail tips:

When they grow too long and, like moi, your schedule is so crammed you cannot simply drop everything to get them re-done…simply paint a shiny dark colour over the top (matte polish tends to show the join too much) and this buys you at least another week, maybe two.

Also, keep some nail glue in your handbag to deal with a snapped nail until you can make it to a beauty salon.

Finally, instead of paying to have them removed; soak them off yourself in the comforts of your own home! All you need is a small bowl filled with nail polish remover, place this in a larger bowl filled with boiling water, and leave your nails in the nail polish remover for half hour or so. They slowly soften and can be peeled off from your nails. It takes time, but it’s free and causes less damage then biting them all off in your final moments of fake nail madness.

Nicola Louise Watson

12/02/09