The Marmite Handbag

Just to clarify, I hate marmite. I despise its smell, taste, texture (I don’t often fancy eating something resembling tar) and even the bright yellow logo pisses me off. However, I acknowledge others find it rather yummy, and I even keep a small pot in my cupboard for random marmite loving visitors. This selfless accepting frame of mind is the only thing I ask from you when discussing my new handbag.

I saw it, swung it on my shoulder and decided I could not possibly strut out the shop doors without it. When I turned to my sister expecting the same ‘it’s amazing’ response, the look on her face said it all…it is undoubtedly gross. Err…what? How could you NOT want this bag? The bright turquoise and off brown faux crocodile skin set against the gold clasp and chain handle is extraordinarily amazing, and to top it off the lining is full on leopard print. I’m aware the new darling of my life is a little eccentric, but normal is boring and I firmly believe fashion is about having fun; going beyond the average and the ordinary. I’ll admit I was even more disheartened when I had a catch up with my ex and he said (this is a direct quote) “I would never have bought that for you in a million years”. Now I can see why he is no longer my boyfriend. Split up on account of fashionable differences.

In my head, it could pass as Dior couture, or some unknown vintage designer found in a quirky back alley of Brick Lane. In reality, it was a meagre 14 quid from TK Maxx, the most tasteful tacky shop to date. I honestly can’t get enough, and have strategically left it on my chair sitting pretty so when I stroll into my room, it is the first thing that greets me. So I guess I have to learn to understand some like minded people will think it’s fabulous, whilst many will think it’s fabulously horrendous. If anyone says this to my face, I’ll just accuse them of being jealous.

Nicola Louise Watson

06-03-09